What does it mean to be a man?

In our culture, we’re often taught that being a man means being quick to act, to respond, to take the advantage. When we think about “taking a punch,” our first instinct is to think about “punching back.” Strength is defined by how hard you can hit, how fast you can react, and how you can get the upper hand.

But what if real strength, the kind of strength that builds character, forges leaders, and defines a man of God is the exact opposite?

An important part of becoming a man is learning patience.

This isn’t an easy word for us. It sounds passive. It sounds weak. But it’s not. The Greek meaning of the word “patience” is literally “to take a punch.”

Think about that. Not to throw a punch, but to take one.

When we’re faced with tough circumstances or difficult people, the world tells us to punch back. To respond swiftly. To “win” the situation. But if we are going to lead and love like Jesus taught, there is no counter-punch.

Patience is the passive reaction of love to tough circumstances. It’s the decision to stand firm, absorb the hit, and not retaliate in kind. It’s the quiet power that refuses to let anger, pride, or chaos take control. It’s one of the hardest things a man can ever learn to do.

But patience doesn’t stand alone. It has an active partner: Kindness.

Patience and kindness go hand-in-hand. Love is both.

• Patience is how we endure the person or problem causing us stress.

• Kindness is the active action we take toward that person despite the stress.

You can’t have one without the other and still call it love. Patience without kindness is just bottling up your anger. Kindness without patience is fake, because it will crack the second you get frustrated.

To be a man, and especially a man of God, you need to work on both. You need the strength to endure, and you need the character to act in love when you’d rather act in anger.

It’s not about how hard you can punch all the time. It’s about how hard you can get punched and still respond with love.

That is the real measure of a man. That is the strength we’re building.